My move to Mexico…

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Over a year ago I made one of the biggest decisions of my life to sell my car, donate my belongings and move to a brand new country with new traditions, new climate, different language and somewhat of a misunderstood culture especially in US media.

It wasn’t a light decision and I first entertained the idea of moving south over 4 years ago, but only made the final decision in September, 2015.

Why Mexico:

When I was considering moving I was looking for three main things;

1. Warm weather             2.Lower cost of living            3. Good timezone for camming

I lived in Europe for a brief period and working from 12am-8am every night was really hard on my body. I was not able to function properly, barely saw any daylight and just knew my geographic region was basically any country south of Canada that fit those three criteria.

I was mainly deciding between Costa Rica and Mexico since they both offered the good weather and were perceived to be low cost destinations. To my surprise Costa Rica was not as low cost, in fact real estate was more expensive than most Canadian cities and you got the same amenities that you would get in a developing country. There were built up areas in San Jose but paying $3000 a month for a rental was not my idea of saving money since I was paying $1000 in Canada renting a similar place.

So next option was Mexico… I had previously traveled to different parts of Mexico such as the Mayan Riviera, Puerto Vallarta and Guadalajara and the third one appealed the most. The other two places by the coast were too humid and the infiltration of tourism had made them really not that affordable.

playa-carmen-map Prices of homes in Cancun and Playa del Carmen playaaseemed really inflated… $200,000 and upwards for a condo and $500,000 for a house with a decent lot ( we aren’t talking acres here just enough to not be a cookie cutter house). Sounded like it was a better deal to move to a southern US state. Because of tourism, dining out and entertainment was also more expensive. Walking through the airport of Cancun I felt like they saw me as a walking wallet and did not have any respect or manners when dealing with you in securing a taxi. I paid close to $100 USD for a two way ride to my hotel that was 10 min from the airport. The best part was that they never showed up to pick me up and I had to pay another overpriced taxi my hotel called for me so I wouldn’t miss my flight. I think the east coast is fun to go once in a while for a change of scenery but the over the top tourist feel and the humidity and heat was not my cup of tea. I would recommend this location if you are looking for great turquoise beaches with white sand and all inclusive resorts that can be quite good and affordable if you do some research.

puerto-vallarta-sPuerto Vallarta and the surrounding area seemed like a tuned down version of Cancun/Playa. Located on the west coast of Mexico, it’s visited by many world travelers every year although it’s not as popular as the East Coast.

The airport is located right in the city and you can walk out if you like. The area is pretty built up with golf courses, a marina with expensive homes, a few all inclusive hotels and at the end there’s the old town which they also call the zona Romantica. The weather was still hot and humid but not as unbearable as in Cancun. Real estate and dining out were still at tourist prices and almost all sales and home rentals were in US dollars. I would still class this area a bit cheaper than the east coast. Puerto Vallarta was growing on me but I still wanted to see more options of what Mexico had to offer so I took my next trip to Guadalajara which is in the same state as Puerto Vallarta (Jalisco).

el-expiatorio-guadalajaraGuadalajara is the second biggest city in Mexico, behind Mexico City. It is well known for beautiful colonial architecture, art and mariachi. Hmm now this place is sounding quite Mexican, however it is also the home of major tech companies and you can also find commercial centers that make you think you are in any major metropolitan like New York, Toronto or London. However it is not a major tourist attraction among foreigners and it caters to mostly Mexican visitors or foreigners visiting for business purposes. This could also mean that if you want to come here you may need to brush up your Spanish skills because not everyone you see will speak to you in English, although a lot still do speak English it’s not as common as the coastal places I mentioned above.

My first impression when I stepped at the airport… My body doesn’t feel like it’s in a sauna… wow ok this not so bad. There was only one taxi booth which had fares in Mexican pesos and to my surprise they were very affordable to what I had seen in the other airports. It was around $20 for a 1h taxi ride. Beats the $100 dollars for a 10 min ride I got in Cancun.

As much as I liked the idea of having all the amenities of a big city, the traffic which is the most horrible I have seen in the world, after Mexico city killed the idea of moving there, so I decided to stay rural which offered affordable real estate, lots of space and privacy with less neighbors around you. There was one catch… INTERNET… I had two providers one of them being Telmex which only provided 5mb download and 0.5 mb upload. Yuck! I got around this by purchasing phone data which does get quite expensive. The other drawback was that because I am in such a rural place life can be really boring at times and finding people that have things in common with you that can keep up with my work schedule are almost none. But I still like living in the country and my 4 dogs keep me happy and entertained most of the time.

Things I noticed during my first year here:

1. Safety

There is this perception generally portrayed by US media that one should not go to Mexico or they will get robbed, mugged and killed. Of course this things happen here but they also happen in the US, Canada and in any part of the world. The truth is that in most cases the shootings and killings are done by drug cartels trying to eliminate their competition aka other drug cartels. If you are not selling or buying drugs chances are no one will bother you. Some people are afraid they will get attention because they look “white”. Well let me tell you; I have seen ginger Mexicans, tall blonde with Nordic features and some that look very European. Mexico is mixed nationalities so you will get all looks here. If you use common sense such as not getting plastered at 3 am and then going to look for drugs chances are you are okay. Also use common sense and don’t offend the locals. I saw a drunk American in Puerto Vallarta that kept shouting really derogatory terms about Mexicans and although nothing happened to him and I was really impressed how the bartender didn’t just kick him out, you really don’t want to piss off the wrong guy here so be polite and treat people with kindness.

It is true that there is a lot of poverty in Mexico so it’s common to have high walls surrounding your property, electric fences, metal bars on your windows. Even the poor Mexicans do this and it’s just how it is here. If you have no fence or bars people take it as an invite to come and take your stuff.

As a young gringa (term for foreigner) I have not had any issues with safety and I have traveled to many Mexican cities on my own.  As long as you use common sense and don’t go hitchhiking (yes it has been done) or drive where there’s known cartel activity you will be fine. Remember Mexico is a huge place. Think of it as; If there is a major shooting in Detroit, should you be afraid to fly let’s say Alaska which has nothing to do with Detroit.

2. Major Culture Change

One may thing the hardest challenge would be not knowing the language. This hasn’t been the case for me and despite coming here with zero Spanish I was able to conversate after 3 months (i’m not fluent mind you), also it helps that a lot of people speak English and well… there’s a thing called a phone and google translate. You type what you need to say on your phone and show it to the person. The things I had to get used to were more in attitude than communication.

  • Mañana Attitude

    This means tomorrow. Mexico is the land of mañana… Almost everyone is really laid back in Mexico. If you ask a contractor how long a job will take they will say 3 weeks but what they really mean is 6 months, maybe even one year. If you are waiting on a delivery and they say it will arrive tomorrow, be prepared than tomorrow may mean the day after tomorrow, or it could also mean next month or never, and they will not call you to let you know that they absolutely wasted your time. If you need to pay a telephone bill or electricity bill be prepared for the office to close after waiting in line for 1h or more telling you they are open mañana. Sometimes the simplest tasks in Mexico that can be done at the click of a button in the western world would take hours, days, weeks. Even if you shop in big department stores like Walmart, it will take the cashier 20 min to ask someone for change for each customer and she will just stand there until someone other staff comes along looking bored and unapologetic. 20 min to pay for 2 small items when there’s only two people in line; more people… be prepared to WAIT…
    Not everyone is like this and I have met people that were on time and delivered what they promised but I had to go through a lot of bad apples to know those people.

  • Food

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    Mexican tacos; No cheese, no sower cream, just beef, cilantro, onion and avocado sauce with beans

    The cost of food is surprisingly low but in contrary to the western world, in Mexico it’s almost impossible to find any large variety of frozen food or semi prepared stuff in supermarkets that is also healthy. If you happen to find it be prepared to pay double of what you would pay in the US because that’s “imported luxury” even if you are looking for just a can of beans. Anything that is not made here you pay for it through the roof. On the other side Mexicans take pride in cooking everything from scratch and buying fresh veggies and meat is also very affordable. If you are a busy working person that barely has any time to eat this could be a problem. But you can fix that by dining out which is also really affordable compared to what we pay in the US or Canada.

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    Shrimp/ Pesto base pizza; Total cost $5.00 USD

     

    You can eat authentic local tacos or tortas (a local sandwich here) for 50 cents each. You usually need 4 of those to fill you up so you just had your main meal for $2.00. USD. If you want to add a beer to that that’s another 1$ or it can be less depending on where you go. If you buy the beer at the convenience store is only a few cents. If one is bored of tacos there are other options of Mediterranean Style, Steak houses, Bar and Grills which can be quite good especially if you live in a metropolitan area or close to foreign retirement areas because they tend to want variety. However I would like to warn you… careful when you try sushi… In most cases it will be a Mexicanised version of what they think it’s sushi with a lot of overboiled rice and a LOT of cheese. My experience with Mexican cuisine is that they love cheese, greasy sauces and spices, so they will give you jalapeno to eat with your sushi.

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    Mexican version of a “tempura roll” so much cheese!

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Grilled Salmon; Total cost $8.00 (including tax)

If you decide to not eat Mexican but want to experience a good steak house or a nice roasted chicken, a full rack of ribs or a great succulent burger there are plenty of options here that vary from $5-$15 per dish in a really upscale place. Hygiene has never been a problem in restaurants and you can ask to drink non bottled water with ice. They have to filter the water by law and no restaurant owner wants to kill their customers so during all the travels I have done in Mexico I have never gotten sick from the water.

One thing I have found really really bizarre is that it’s impossible to find Tex Mex style nachos served with sour cream, salsa and vegetables. The equivalent here is a soggy mass of maybe 5 deep fried tortillas with boiled water and A LOT of cheese. No veggies at all, no sour cream and the salsa is different to what I was used to in Canada. I think they may have this in Cancun or even Puerto Vallarta but hard to find in Guadalajara.

  • Dogs

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    Lucky, Bianca and Jackie in my yard. All were found on the streets in really bad health conditions. 

    Mexico is still a developing country with a lot of poor people and not a lot of them are educated about proper care for an animal. Most of them let their dogs to roam around free which means they can be exposed to being run over by cars, a lot of them eat garbage and just mate with other dogs to contribute to the world wide issue of stray dogs. Living in a rural area, it’s quite easy to see this on a daily basis. There are some non for profit shelters/ volunteer vets that will offer to spay or neuter dogs for free for poor families but most of them either don’t really know about it, or just don’t think about it as a problem because they will just throw the puppies on the street anyway.

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    Xena; my newest puppy I found while shopping for tiles

    However I have been overwhelmed by how many Mexicans are also dog lovers and how many of them have also homed street dogs or dogs from shelters and given them the proper  vet care, food and shelter. A neighbor close to my vacation rental in Puerto Vallarta had homed 10 street dogs he found roaming in the streets looking for garbage. One of them was still quite sick but they all seemed happy and knew he cared about them. Another Mexican woman that worked as a massage therapist had also homed two street dogs that she found at almost starving conditions. Maybe I have been lucky but I have never noticed any street dog be aggressive towards humans. I also haven’t seen a lot of direct human abuse like throwing rocks at them or hurting the dogs on purpose, the major issue seems to be neglect. With that said any street dog I have met seemed to be loving any human attention you give them. They always seem eager to please. However they are not so kind to other dogs and two of my female dogs had to be taken to the vet multiple times until they finally learned to live in peace. They haven’t been fighting anymore and I hope it never happens again.

 

  • Healthcare

    I have been really pleasantly surprised by the quality and cost of the Mexican healthcare so far. It can take from 10-30 min wait to see a doctor that will examine you and explain everything about what you have. They also have offered me their number and email if I needed anything or if I had any problems with my medications. I have never seen that in Canada both the attitude and the waiting period. They also speak excellent English as most of them were trained in US or European Universes. The cost of a visit is $12.00 USD. If you need a specialist it can go up. I paid $30.00 to see a specialist. If you need specialized care there are top of the line hospitals in Guadalajara that offer more extensive services. The cost of medication is also really affordable in comparison to what I used to pay in Canada for the same things. Hospitals also take US insurance plans and there are plans you can buy locally here but I have no experience with this as the cost to pay out of pocket is really minimal.

 

  • Driving

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    Just a normal day in traffic

    – This one really really SUCKS especially if you drive to bigger places like Guadajajara. I would not dare drive in Mexico City because it’s supposed to be much worse than Guadajajara. I grew up in Southern Europe and I thought I had seen some aggressive driving. This is much worse because you often have to deal with pedestrians that walk across (no I didn’t say run) a major highway when there’s a pedestrian bridge on top of it for them to cross. Ain’t nobody got time for stairs, let’s just be in a rush to die instead because we are too lazy to go up a few flights of stairs. The worse part is that they do this with small children as well.

 

  • “I cannot afford to have lights on my car, or get it insured, or even afford to get a         drivers licence or know anything about how to drive, but fuck it… I will drive anyway on major highways” No one stops these sorts of vehicles because they have no money to bribe police. But having a GPS on your dash is considered illegal and you may get fined for it.
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    The emergency lights!!!!! In the west we use indicators when we plan to turn so the other person behind us will know what we are doing so they don’t crash into us. Indicators have no use in Mexico and a very small percentage of drivers use them. If someone wants to do something they will turn their emergency lights on and they may stop abruptly in the middle of the road, maybe make a fast turn, maybe switch lanes or maybe do nothing at all.

 

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    Imagine no traffic signals and every car in each lane is doing 110 km/h and you are the red arrow. No drivers will let you in either. On top of that you may have a crazy pedestrian that thinks it’s ok to cross and a guy with a horse carriage on the side of the road doing 10 km/h

    Making a U turn to find a location on the other side of the road in HIGH SPEED highways. Normally I am used to using a ramp to enter a highway but here although they exist they are not as common.

  • Road paint. Ha… imagine a major highway designed to have two lanes, now there is no paint to guide you and you have maybe 5 lanes of cars all racing each other to get to where they need to as fast as they can, combine that with a faulty GPS that is confused about where you are going and really shitty road signs to guide you where you are going. If you happen to drive at night, you wont see any paint to know where the border of the road is because they used the shittiest quality that washes off in 2 weeks.
  • If you are found in an accident you go to jail if someone is hurt, even if you are the non guilty part and you happen to be hurt. I heard of a case of an old man going to jail with broken ribs because they needed 3 days to sort out of the case of who’s fault it was even if it’s visibly obvious who was at fault it’s the LAW they need to take you. There is no food or water in jail or any basic hygiene and you will have one cell with people and feces right in the corner. If you want food and water you have to have a family member bring it. This promotes a lot of hit and run cases or people just pay the police a bribe to not record the incident, although they were not the part that was at fault. Personally I think this is the most shocking law I have ever heard of and if you are visiting here I recommend to not rent a car. Taxis are inexpensive and there’s also Uber in major cities which is even cheaper than taxis.

 

  • Cohetes and noise

    Cohetes are loud fireworks that their only purpose is to make noise. They sound like a cannon is blowing. As far as I know the origin of this started when the indigenous people used to use drums to make noise so they would get closer to their gods. When the colonization period began, cohetes replaced drums and ironically are used a lot by people close to catholic churches. If you ever stay anywhere in Mexico do NOT stay close to a Catholic church, no matter how pretty the neighborhood looks. It will blow your ear drums starting at 4am in the morning. It may last 10 min or hours.

  • Noise is much more tolerable in Mexican culture… When I had construction done to my house, the workers would bring really loud speakers with the bass turned all the way up. Combine this with the fact that I was working till 3 am in the morning and went to bed at 5 am and the workers get there at 7 am with their stereos and hammering. This is not just a worker thing. You will often see cars install concert type speakers that when they drive around it shakes the walls of your house (not an exaggeration). No police will pull these cars over either. Also do not live near a bar or nightclub even if it’s a few blocks away. They will have speakers outside that will shake your house and the entire block of homes in your neighborhood. There is no such thing as insulation here and no club is asked to make their location sound proof. As bad as this sounds if you pick a house that is not close to a church, a major road or a town center you will be fine.
  • There are a lot of gated communities that offer the illusion of safety and less noise. Some of them are less noisy than the mixed class Mexican neighborhoods but you still hear of break ins despite them having a “guard” to ID people coming in. Also not all home owners pay their monthly fees for the amenities which can create problems. Some of them are quite nice and quiet but just because something looks nice in Mexico it’s not necessarily better.

Despite the good and bad things I have seen so far about my new country I still think I made a good decision to move here. No place in the world is perfect, but at the end of the day I can tolerate the negatives and appreciate the positives it gives me. And as long as the positives are more than the negatives I can make this place my home.

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Agave fields in Jalisco

A lot of people have asked me questions about where to travel in Mexico that is still safe. I am not a expert tour guide but here are a few on my list

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Waterfront of Chapala, the biggest lake in Mexico

Yukatan Peninsula, Puerto Vallarta and surrounding towns,  Manzanillo, Guadalajara (just don’t stay in the east side, although Tlaquepaque is an exception to the rule), Town of Tequila, Lake Chapala (it has a high number of foreign expats ), San Miguel D’Allende (a lot of expats too but much more expensive and colder in the winter, still a nice place to see), Guanajuato, Puebla and so many more places to see.

The last few days’ absence

I know the last few days I have been more absent from MFC. It’s not usual for me to take that many days off because I take pride in my work and enjoy my room and the group of regulars and friends that visit my room.

Unfortunately a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with a tumour that requires me to take medications. This sounds more awful than it is. So far it’s not life threatening just more inconvenient because it’s (not sure if it’s the meds or the actual tumour) giving me migraines, nausea and general weakness.

Despite all that, I want you guys to know that I’m not going anywhere and Kickland will still continue to be the happy and cheerful place it’s always been and hopefully we can continue the top 9 streak this month.

It was not easy coming with this publicly because I do not like discussing negative things but I feel like people can understand the situation better now and it’s easier than answering multiple emails.

I ask you to please not bring this up in my room as I like it to be mine and my viewers happy place. Like I said it’s not life threatening just more of a bummer that has made me feel not 100% to go on and be entertaining. I know most of you are not upset about it but there is a certain guilt involved for me into being on and not being able to be always cheering and full of energy.  I don’t know why I feel that way but I do.

I have decided to take one more night off and hopefully be back tomorrow feeling refreshed.

Stay classily pervy! 

Kicka

How dare a human have an opinion that isn’t the same as mine!

Ever heard of people that have analytical minds. They think… I happen to think about a lot of things as you probably do as well. My life in the last four years was dedicated to mainly one thing… My career! That career happened to be webcamming…Weird ehh…

My mind happens to think mostly 90% of the time about webcamming. I am fascinated by the analytics behind it. It’s a really interesting industry and there are a lot of elements that make camming captivating.

One day I happened to share one of my thoughts on social media. Yes I happen to have formed thoughts about something that I have done constantly for over 4 years. How weird is that…

This was what I wrote. It was intended as a personal opinion and nothing more, however to my surprise a lot of people seemed to be offended by it.

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Also to my surprise no one bothered to ask why I thought a certain way about the “pay” for pms topic, but jumped to conclusions that since I am talking about lower traffic rooms I must automatically put them down. This was absolutely not the case and I would like to explain why somewhere in this article.

It’s okay to disagree with the thoughts or opinions expressed by other people. That doesn’t give you the right to deny any sense they might make. Nor does it give you a right to accuse someone of poorly expressing their beliefs just because you don’t like what they are saying. Sometimes this means overcoming your pride and opening your mind beyond what is comfortable.

Let me tell you why I think offering the “pay to talk to me” is hurting a model more than is helping her and why this impacts lower traffic rooms more than the high traffic ones. It has nothing to do with putting down the lower models. It boils down to simple business analytics.

The one thing that all successful rooms have in common on MFC is community and a fun chat room where people chat and keep the energy flowing. This often promotes tipping. If you happen to work on a private base site, please ignore this but this is strictly my view point on MFC.

Newer or lower traffic models have to work a lot harder because they are working on building this community. You want to give people incentives to chat IN THE ROOM, not steal your attention away from it. If you allow someone to pay for your attention this is what messages you are giving:

  • Objectifying members: “I don’t want to chat with you but if you pay me I will pretend to like you and pay you attention”
  • Objectifying yourself: “I am the member that payed you 200 tokens to chat with you and you must pay attention to me all the time… Because I PAID “

Deep down every human being wants to feel appreciated. If you are a model you want to feel like someone is tipping you to show that they like what you do and if you are a member you would hope that a model would at least be somewhat respectful and genuine to you, and not like you only because you tip her and nothing else. At the end of the day we are still humans interacting with other humans.

  • Giving the wrong impression to potential new people: If you allow members to steal your attention away for “pay” you may end up with quite a few people that want that on a regular basis. This is going to make it hard for you to shine in the room and captivate the attention of potential new tippers.
  • Attracting the wrong type of members: A lot of the comments I saw to my initial tweet talked about people on pm usually talking about negative things. The models often said that they don’t like these people. Now by putting in the topic “pay me to talk to you” you are attracting those people.
  • Giving up control: When you are a new camgirl a lot of people will try to take advantage of you. When you are a not so new camgirl a lot of people will try to take advantage of you. Even when you are not even a camgirl people will try to take advantage of you. This is the reason why having control is important in keeping your sanity and happiness intact. When someone pays you to chat… where do they draw the line… What if they expect you to pay attention to them all the time and become passive aggressive (often by tipping you with passive aggressive tip notes) to make you feel bad about focusing on the room. This stops you from growing your business. This stops you from gaining new fans… and depending on how passive aggressive the comments get, it stops you from enjoying yourself while you cam.

NOTE: Some people took that as Open PMs for all. This will really drive you nuts and I do not recommend it. I just think it’s better to chat to people that you enjoy chatting with. It will make you and your room happier at the end of the day and you will weed out the rude people that will  try to kill your mojo. 

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The different types of models on camsites

bbkhnpdcmaajod9This article’s purpose is for entertainment only. If you are easily offended and can’t take a joke I suggest focusing your energy into something else that will make you less angry.

So after the “viewers discretion part” lets start discussing the various types of models that work on camsites. The types really cannot be limited to  what I am about to discuss below and there are so many overlaps between each type but since we are humans and we like to classify things let’s just give this a shot… just for the sake of fun.

1.The Milf

This refers to a sexually attractive female (someone that had children), usually several years older than the person using the term to describe them. Apparently the concept of MILF originated in 1967 in the comedy The Graduate (Mrs. Robinson), but the actual term was not used until the 1990s and then became popular in mainstream media in the movie American Pie. In 2002 a Washington state resident applied for a license reading “GOTMILF’ and got it, however due to a lot of uptight assholes complaining that probably suffered extreme sexual frustration, the plate had to be cancelled.

So either way, now we know the term MILF is not that old despite describing an older woman. The milfs on camsites usually are not into drama, seem happy with their sexuality and seem genuine about what they have to offer.

2. The entitled B**Ch

The entitled bitch  usually comes with a resting bitch face to go with it on the camera preview.  The phone is a very important tool of the entitled bitch and it will be used frequently in public view to show her room that she is not interested in anything they have to say except for anyone that tips her.

She feels that she is god’s gift to men and for this reason anyone merely looking at her (clothed or not) must empty all their wallets and bend over backwards to accommodate her needs and wants. She will usually ban people for no reason, bitch about not getting paid enough for looking at her phone and her favorite word to yell is “freeloaders” followed by the words “fuck you”

3. The girl next door

When people think of cammodels they probably think of us as some dolled up sex women that all look like porn stars and  are up for dirty sexual things all the time. Well guess what… Most camgirls are regular women. These are the women you would never think would be doing something considered so risque by regular society folks.

The girl next door usually has a very social room with regular members that all know each other and frequently come back for the conversation and fun. The girl next door can be sexual or non sexual in nature. The variety of girls next door goes from “I like to double penetrate myself with a ball gag and self spanks to completely non nude girls that do nothing sexual on cam) Non sexual camgirls ehh… who would have ever thought?

4. The “I hate all men”

This woman has probably had a bad past and gotten unlucky meeting a lot of men in the douchebag category. As a self protection mechanism she now refuses to trust people, especially men. Ironically she is comfortable penetrating herself in front of men and acting in various sexual roles for money to fulfill their needs but will refuse to build any emotional bond with them because they are all “assholes”

The social feel is less in these types of rooms and usually you see a lot of high numbers and very little chat. This cammodel may also overlap with the “entitled bitch” but they are not always the same kind.

5. The “nymphomaniac”

These are girls who are  genuinely very sexual in nature and like to explore their sexuality in front of others online. Their rooms are usually quite hardcore however you don’t feel the uprightness and entitlement of the “I hate all men” & “The entitled bitch” in their rooms. They usually but not always sell boy/ girl videos and masturbation videos.

6. The “I think men want sex so I’m gonna always act like I’m horny and show no emotion”

These girls are usually new to the industry and come with the idea that if they are not a sex object they will not make it in webcamming. They will not refuse any requests from guys despite some requests making them quite uncomfortable because they think they always have to keep their “customer” happy. These girls may have great personalities but are too afraid to show them because they think men will not be into anything that isn’t sex. Usually their sexual “acting” is not realistic and they burn out fast and leave the industry quick.

7. The possessed “OHMIBOD girl”

Talking about “acting”. The OHMIBOD has been such a wide spread toy in the webcamming industry that everyone and their grandma have used it (except for me and now I feel a bit left out). The ohmibod is a vibrator that girls put in their genitals that vibrates with the sound of tips. Usually the reactions are quite entertaining to watch and I have seen some girls act like they are playing a role in the exorcist. I do not have any experience with OHMIBOD so I don’t know 100% how good it feels, but I doubt someone will get 100 multiple orgasms from a 1 tokens yellow walls.

The newest trend now days is a pink toy with a string hanging out of the bagina. I am not sure what that is called but I think it has the same principle as the OHMIBOD.

8. The angry part timer

This is the girl that comes into webcamming with the idea that it will be easy money. Once she shows her “gorgeous face” to the world men from all over the world will dump thousands of dollars to her just because. She will work maybe once a week for 3 hours and complain she isn’t making any money. Then she will start blaming the “camscore system” for her failures and believe that people that are more successful than her just got “lucky” because there is no way she would admit that it was her lack of  hours or lack of trying. What job gets you rich or even pays your bills when you work 10-15h a month? If you know one let me know.

9. The genuine young girl

These types of cammodels usually get a lot of viewers and do fairly well if they have a personality to go with it. Most don’t have a lot of business experience and despite the high numbers they don’t capitalize as much as they should.

10. The gamer girl

The gamer girl as the name says likes video games. Her main focus is about games and nerdy things and she attracts the same type of crowd. Usually gamer girls broadcast on TWITCH as well as MFC. There is usually a lot of overlap with the “girl next door” but they are not always the same thing.

11. The “I will act young for money girl”

This girl could be a teen or even in her 30s or 40s (well maybe not 40s) but her focus is on guys that like the underage look. She knows that as well and she uses it to her advantage. Usually characteristics such as high pitched voice, fluffy toys in the background, school girl outfits and an overuse of the word “daddy” are typical. Personally this is not my cup of tea but as long as both parties are of legal age they aren’t hurting me in any way shape or form so I will not say anything else about it.

12. The workaholic

The workaholic has made camming into a real career/ business. If she is not on cam working she is offline shooting content, brainstorming ideas or sending packages to her fans. She usually does not worry about “the camscore system” and puts as many hours on cam as possible. Camming is a short term career which closes a lot of future opportunities so “the workaholic” is sacrificing  her non-cam social life in order to secure her future.

13. The “I will date you if you tip me” type

These girls capitalize on the fact that a lot of guys sometimes want some emotional connection more than the sexual connection. She will con people into thinking there is a chance to have a relationship with her if they give her more money. Once the guy runs out of money she will move on to the next tipper and not pay any more attention to the first person let alone keep her promise of dating them. I have seen real genuine relationships happen from MFC however be careful with who you fall for. If you stop tipping and all of a sudden your favorite model falls out of love with you she never loved you in the first place.

14. The porn star

The continuous decline in revenue of the porn industry has led some porn stars to try camming thinking it will be the same as porn. They are totally different things. Most when they join get huge numbers of viewers, however not all know how to entertain a crowd and once the novelty wears off they leave the site. Camming may have a sexual nature to it but if you are not a natural entertainer to keep people interested you will find it very hard to make it, despite  your looks.

15. The drama queen

She will do anything for attention. Negative, positive… as long as it’s attention she will take it. She will try to antagonize most models and then act like she is the victim and feed on drama. No matter how much she attacks people and tells them that they should “go die or kill themselves” she is always the victim. Usually she may get attention and tips for a short while but her allure will wear off and she will lose regulars faster than strippers lose  their underwear.

16. The one hit wonder

This girl has one or more fans that tip her a lot of money. She feels like she has it made in the webcamming industry. She has a room full of people chatting, having fun and tipping. She ranks high maybe even wins number 1. The community usually starts spreading conspiracy theories about her, especially if the tipping is done by one guy or if the model is in private the whole time.

Then she  disappears from the face of the internet  and when she is back she has no one in her room, no tipping, no chatting no fun… oops was a 4 month vacation too long…

Sometimes she may not even take time off and her room dies. The high tipper(s) leave and now she has to prove that she will have to draw people by working hard to become her fans. Luck only lasts so long.

 

The latest events…unfolded…

Last night I decided to leave in the middle of my show because I did not feel good working for an organization that lacks support.

For those of you that have no idea what I do, I am a show host on Myfreecams. Most of my shows require a lot of energy and inspiration and I really could not push myself last night.

Before I portray myfreecams (MFC) as the evil guy, which they are not and the point of the article is far from that, I would like to show some facts.

I have never had payment problems from MFC the entire four years I have worked on their platform until the payment period of June 1st- June 15th. Ten days later and there is no payment in my bank. Ok banks could be assholes… so I thought maybe my bank messed up, so I kept ringing them up and showing up in person to see if there was a wire coming. NOPE, nothing… OKAY.. this is new, how do I deal with this? It was the same bank I always got paid so if it worked before it should have worked this time right?…NOPE!

I decided to contact MFC on the 22nd of June because it was getting quite late asking them to track the transfer. They tell me to wait till Friday… Wasn’t very happy with the response as they could have tracked it then but I did wait till Friday and nothing had hit my bank account. I was starting to get very frustrated. I sent them another email early that day to please give me the SWIFT details and check, I received no reply from them. Then I saw admin Leo logged in and I thought maybe he could at least tell someone to check or at least acknowledge the problem. His reply was: “please email support” REALLY? I told him I had gotten no reply from them. I felt really disrespected and felt really uncomfortable putting on a show for an organization that despite getting 40% cut cannot provide some basic support for the models that generate them the most revenue.  I think they can afford to hire some more people to answer emails faster, maybe provide a chat line for models or have a dedicated phone line just like any business that generates millions of dollars a month does. But they don’t…

I know of at least of one other model that has not been able to receive international wires for the last month. Their solution for her was to mail her a cheque. I live in the boonies of Mexico, this option is not available for me so I don’t know how MFC will settle it. I do think they will settle it and I do not think they are a business that does not pay their models or scams their models in that sense, but they are a business that need to invest more in their support system and not just brush us under the rug when we need to contact them.

Today I did receive an email to my reply that that would look into it on Monday. Ok great, although they could have done that when I first emailed them but at least they are now responding.

Another frustration I have had with them was that they have very little google presence. When you search the words “camgirl, camgirls, webcam girl, webcam model, MFC…” they do NOT come up on the main page of google. This is a website that generates all their income from the internet, yet they  have a very poor google presence.

As I said before MFC is not  the evil guy but they could improve. They are still my favorite online community, they give models a lot of creative freedom ,which sets them apart from just the “vagina sex market” that some of their competitors portray. I have met a lot of awesome people on myfreecams and my life has changed for better since I started working on their platform four years ago, however nothing is perfect in life and improving is part of continuing to grow a business. If they want to keep growing they need to acknowledge areas which they are lacking and work on improving them.

 

The different types of members on Camsites

search-members   The fours years I have spent on Myfreecams I have probably came across millions of members. Some have been very interesting in both good and bad ways. Since MFC is one of the webcam sites that allows a lot of creativity and different styles of models it also attracts a lot of different types of viewers as well. I am sure other camsites have samples of the types of members I am about to discuss below as well.

This article is meant mostly as an entertainment read and I hope some of you will enjoy it.

1. The troll

fat-man-troll_fb_1048088The troll thinks of themselves as the internet “tough guy”. An Internet troll is someone who comes into a chat-room and posts comments designed to upset or disrupt the model or the members (most of the time the model). Usually there is no real purpose behind their comments except to upset others. Trolls love it when their ‘victim’ responds and gets visibly upset.

Canadian researchers* have found strong correlations to personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy and sadism and trolling. If you are a model that gets trolled a lot the best policy is to completely ignore the troll. That is the most efficient way to get rid of them as they crave on you giving them attention.

2. The “BB” guy

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“Hey BB” is a common term used on camsites. Apparently it means “hey baby”.

The “BB” guy is either too lazy or illiterate to type properly or English is not his first language and he thinks that this word is making him sound like he’s the shit in the room because he knows “da Engrish slang”

The “BB” guy in most cases views models as sex objects and expects them to bend over backwards and maybe shove five dildos in their ass for a tip of 10 tokens (That’s 50 cents to the model). If the model refuses to do what the “BB” guy asks she is all of a sudden a “worthless whore” and a “scammer” by his standards. Sometimes the “BB” guy uses the lounge to badmouth the “scammer” models and expects everyone else to agree with him.

Sometimes “BB” guys will not even tip, but become very disruptive when the model does not shove cucumbers up her vagina when other people have tipped her to show that they appreciate her. Funny thing is that those people that did tip the model never requested anything yet the “BB” is the one being “ripped off” from the model because he didn’t see a cum show or pussy for that tip. The “BB” guy is quite an interesting specimen in the camsite community.

3. The social guy

social-guys

This is the guy that views MFC as a social platform and enjoys interacting with models and members. The thing that sets MFC apart from other sites and what gives it the highest earning potential is because it’s a social platform first then a sex site second. You may disagree with me on this, however from a business perspective it’s not the privates (wham bam thank you ma’am style) that generate the most income on MFC, it’s the tips! Tips would happen less frequently and in less amounts if it was all about sex.

Ok so let’s go back to the “social guy”; He is also referred to sometimes as the “regular”. He is pleasant, contributes to the conversation and comes on to socialize with the model and members alike. He tips when he can in the amounts he can to show appreciation for the model and the social community she has created. If he can’t tip he tries to help the model in other ways, maybe becoming a “room helper” or simply just adding to the social aspect of the room. Think of this environment like a group of friends in a PUB, just enjoying a night away from work and decompressing from everyday life problems.

4. The stalkerstalker-main_1405037a

The “stalker” usually starts out very nice and pleasant at first. Most people will not be able to tell just from the first few interactions about his stalking personality.

Fortunately, the percentage of stalkers on camsites is not very high and most people mean well and do not want to jeopardize the safety of the models. However even if 1% of the camsite users are stalkers (I’m just making this number up) and you have been viewed by 1000 people a day that is 10 potential people a day. Most of the busy cam rooms have a lot more traffic than that, increasing the chances of this happening. The “stalker” could frequent any room however, that’s why it’s important for all models to protect their identity online and be very careful about what they share on the internet.

The stalker shows very obsessive tendencies usually towards only one model. He will get jealous and controlling and try to find out personal details, especially where the model lives, legal name, relationship status. Once he has that he will post it on the internet for everyone to see because that’s his way to control and blackmail the model to her family and friends if she has not come out about her career choise. In rare cases he will confront the model in person but most don’t have the balls to go that far.

The National Institute of Justice in Washington conducted a national stalking victimization study in 2009**. Victims were asked what they thought motivated their stalkers to pursue them. Of 3,416,460 victims, 36.6% considered stalker motivations as “retaliation, anger or spite,” 32.9% replied “control,” and 23.4% said “mental illness or emotional instability.”

In reality, most stalkers do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions, although many do suffer from other forms of mental illness including major depression, substance abuse, and personality disorders such as antisocial (it’s not as simple as its name… google it), borderline, narcissistic or paranoid.

Another study called “A Study of Stalkers” Mullen et al.. (2000)*** identified five types of stalkers:

  • Rejected stalkers pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (usually when the model stops paying attention to them).
  • Resentful stalkers pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims – motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the model.These are usually the guys that love to post personal information online.
  • Intimacy seekers seek to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim aka the model. Such stalkers often believe that the victim is a long-sought-after soul mate, and they were ‘meant’ to be together. This is a form of obsessive “love”
  • Incompetent suitors, despite poor social or courting skills, they have a fixation  or a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest.
  • Predatory stalkers spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack in real life – often sexual – on the victim. These are the worst types but fortunately very rare.

5. The big tipper aka “whale”

depositphotos_35628265-whale-cartoonThe “whale” is usually a very successful guy that enjoys doing large tips in the room. In most cases, but not all cases the “whale” is very respectful towards the model and room, does not demand anything for their tips in return expect for mutual respect from the model.

Some “whales” are real life celebrities that get enjoyment watching webcam channels, some are very successful professionals or business owners.

Most “whales” are very private and mysterious and you don’t know when they will strike.

A subcategory of “whales” could be disruptive to the room and their main goal is to control the model with their money (for example… he gets jealous when you interact with others in the chat room because he deserves to get all the attention in the room, in fact he will tell you not to log in because you need to spend all day with him on skype, or maybe even meet him and have sex with him in real life… because he “tipped”).  Some may even rank themselves into debt because they are so obsessed with being seen as powerful and love the control. These types could turn out to also fall in the stalker category so models be aware.  My policy on these guys is: ZERO TOLERANCE.

6. The capper

The capper is the guy that dedicates all his life to recording web cam shows (capturing) or videos and pictures the models sell and uploading them on other sites for all to see. The capper sees himself as a provider of service to the community because they hate the fact that camgirls are able to make money. They usually view camming as “not a real job” and are often jealous of the financial success of models.

They usually almost never understand the “entertainment” factor of camsites and think that hardcore pornographic camgirls are doing their job right but rooms that focus on more social and artistic aspects are “scamming poor guys on the internet”. The effort the model puts to entertain their room has no value to them if she doesn’t take her clothes off all the time. Cappers will often get upset when another capper uploads content that they captured (none of the parties own any rights to the content) and often mention copyright rights to what they record. Talk about a bizarre world out there.

Some cappers have dedicated precious moments of their life to program automated scrips to automatically record models.

7. The fapper

time-to-fap

The “Fapper” uses camsites almost exclusively for sexual gratification. They may or may not be a tipper. They are almost never “the whale” type.

The Fapper can use the public chat and not even sign up for an account, get his gratification then move on with his day. Sometimes they may tip a small amount to the model for a sexual request or pay for a private session or join a group show.

Some Fappers are into fetishes and usually like one on one attention in private from a model that can fulfill their sexual kinks. Although fetish models do cam on myfreecams, they are not a majority as the site primarily focuses on being  a social adult site. Most popular models won’t even accept privates anymore, but some fappers can still fap watching public masturbation shows so everyone is happy.

8. The silent guy

is-that-the-guy-who-plays-silent-bob-because-the-_40cf961b2c65effd216c53974883b697These guys usually sit in the room for a while and are not active for a period of time. They either leave your room on while doing other things in the house or just need some time to warm up to the room. The “silent” guy can become the “social” guy after some time when he feels comfortable with the room or even the “whale” guy if he likes something about the model and/or the room. I know some models ban/call out the “silent” guy in a negative way but I don’t think they are a negative aspect to the room. Worst that could happen is your room gets more viewers being pushed higher in the “most popular room” list.

 

References:

  • *Buckels, Erin E., Paul D. Trapnell, and Delroy L. Paulhus. “Trolls just want to have fun.”Personality and Individual Differences67 (2014): 97-102.
  • **https://victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/baum-k-catalano-s-rand-m-rose-k-2009.pdf?sfvrsn=0
  • *** Paul E. Mullen, Michele Pathé, Rosemary Purcell, and Geoffrey W. Stuart.“A Study of Stalkers”, Am J Psychiatry 156:1244–1249, August 1999.

Join the Kickland Experience

I would like to invite a fellow model to my house in Mexico for a weekend in May.

Details:
– Camscore does not matter however you must be a full time camgirl (work at least 40 h a month on average) and have cammed for at least 1 year.
– Must speak fluent English, however all countries and nationalities are welcome.
– NO DRUGS of any kind (no weed either). I drink alcohol in moderation, but I will not tolerate anyone that abuses it on or off cam while they are here.
– You must be social and friendly but treat camming as a business. This is not a vacation.
– There will be a professional artistic nude photoshoot together (paid by me).
The pictures will be used as an exclusive raffle prize (in both of our rooms).
The winner has the option to use it as a monthly raffle prize (ticket price chosen by both parties) in their room if they wish.
However the pictures cannot be sold or shared after the raffle is over.
– I cam for long hours and try to keep my energy up at all times while I’m on. You must do the same.
Also no texting on cam, no ignoring the room or begging/harassing the room for tokens.
– I would be happy to help you with any camming questions you may have.
– PRIVACY and RESPECT! Those are two things that I ask 100% of the time when I work with someone.
I do not ever share any personal information about any models I work with and I expect the same in return from you.
This includes location information, names, relationships or anything else that that person does not wish to share publicly.
– I do not do hardcore on cam (in public or in group) and I expect you to not do it while we are on cam together.
I do not have any problems with girls that choose to cam this way, however it would not work with my camming style while we are together.

– LOCATION/TRAVEL: You would need to fly to Mexico. I would be happy to pick you up from the airport and drop you off.
You are also welcome to stay at my house (I have a guest room with an en-suite) and you can bring a friend as long as they do not interfere with us while we cam.
The no drugs/privacy policy applies to them as well.
I do have a black lab so if you are allergic to dogs keep that in mind.
I will pay $300 towards your travel costs.

How do you apply:
– Send me an MFC mail from your model account with a brief bio about yourself, what you do on cam and what your goals are.
Also send me a link to your mfc profile and twitter (if you have one)
– You must agree with all the ‘Details’ section.
– Deadline to do this is Monday, March 21st midnight PST

How does the contest work:
– After the submission deadline I will choose 10 models to be displayed on my profile and twitter.
– Members can vote for you with a single tip of 88 tok on my account (must include the tip note ‘ vote for ‘model name’)
Must be in that format or the vote will not be calculated otherwise.
Online/offline/ninja/anon tips are all good as long as they say: (vote for ‘model name’)
– You must put the graphic on your profile, mention it in your topic and promote it on your social media during the voting period.
– Voting period: March 22nd- April 22nd Midnight PST
– Winner will be announced on April 23rd on my twitter.
– Tentative camming days: first weekend of may.

If you have any questions or concerns please contact me by mfc mail only (no dms, no forum messages)

Insomnia

Insomnia rules my night, or maybe haunt is a better word for it. While sipping on a cup of “calming tea” I’m thinking to myself how my brain begs for unconsciousness when I need to be clear and lucid. But come the hours of early morning after a night of Camming, my brain lights up with new possibilities, new resources of disaster and danger; sometimes excitement and future plans, but my body is too tired to be productive.
I want to count sheep and relax, let all my thoughts go. But the more I count the more the sheep tell me about what possibly could go wrong tomorrow. It’s not a specific worry, just my mind runs all the chores I need to do and dwells on obsessing with ideas… Ideas that aren’t executable right now because I am in bed and I don’t feel like getting now. My body rebells and tells my brain I need to stop it! I feel tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep….
I wish I could be one of those people that roll over and doze off, but I can’t.
I lie in my bed counting the hours the sun will slowly seep back into my walls. I lay there until my neck is telling me that it’s now time to shift on my back because the muscles are too tense from looking at the computer for hours. I try to adjust. It’s a bit better but the pain will never go away. Chronic pain from previews injuries sucks. What sucks more is when it’s not just your muscles that scream but your nerves. But that is not the case right now anymore, so I’m grateful.
I’m also grateful that I have a job that gives me the flexibility to not allow my insomnia to transform me into a zombie during the daylight, although I wake up really late and wish to change that to a bit of an early schedule.
I remember the days I had a 9-5 job and it was not a fitting experience with insomnia. The fact that I had to be up at 7 am did not stop my brain from haunting my night with useless, stupid thoughts. I spent my years as a walking zombie, doing something I did not enjoy.
Now my body tries to remind my mind about my craving for rest. I’m almost done sipping my tea. I’ll start counting sheep again. Maybe this time they will stop telling me about all the useless ideas and worries and let me sleep…

Three reasons why people hate successful people

I did not write this but I wanted to share it…

It’s lonely at the top. 99% of the world is convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre middle-ground. The level of competition is thus fiercest for “realistic” goals, paradoxically making them the most time- and energy-consuming. It is easier to raise $10,000,000 than it is $1,000,000. It is easier to pick up the one perfect 10 in the bar than the five 8s. If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”

– Tim Ferriss

Everyone glorifies success, but no one ever tells you about the downside that can crush you.

We see it everywhere, and I’m one of the worst offenders – feverishly pursue something you care about and “get successful”  no matter what it takes.

It all seems like unicorns and rainbows – once you get “there” life is easy. With influence, you have opportunities. With money, you have choice. With time, you can do whatever the hell you want.

The truth is that most people glorify only the good parts of success because they aren’t successful yet – and thus don’t realize the dark nature.

Here’s what they didn’t tell you.

Why Everyone Hates You When You’re At The Top

There’s a little known fact that the more successful you become – happier, healthier, fitter, more content – the more the average person begins to hate you.

Think about. Let’s take a dramatic example. A guy rolls up in a smokin’ hot red ferrari to the restaurant you’re having dinner at.

99% of people, after looking at the car, will assume hundreds of things.

Like MJ Demarco talks about in his book The Millionaire Fastlane, once he finally got an ultra-sports car, people assumed all kinds of things about him:

“He must have a tiny dick.”

“He must be a real asshole.”

“He must be compensating for the fact that the rest of his life is total shit.”

Think about it.

When was the last time we saw someone in a sports car, and didn’t assume anything about them, and just observed?

When you say “Wow, cool car huh?” to the average person, all the judgments crop up. “He must have rich parents. He must have inherited it. He must be a douche.” Blah blah blah. The mind goes wild.

The same is true of health.

One of my close friends went from weighing 300+ pounds, to now looking like a fitness model and having a six pack. And he described one of the most hurtful moments of his life like this:

“You know, at first, everyone was like ‘that’s amazing dude, keep going you’re looking good.’ That’s when they still see you’re fat. You aren’t competition, you’re no one special yet. When you lose a few pounds they encourage you. But then I started getting really fit, I lost something like 80 pounds, and was half the size practically. Then the comments changed. Friends and even family would be like, “Whoa, you’re starting to look a bit sickly Sol, you need to gain some weight.” But I was still 230 pounds – a big guy – so I couldn’t understand why they were discouraging me. This is what I wanted my entire life, so why were they saying stuff like that?”

He first-hand observed how mediocrity HATES excellence.

The raw truth is that the average person will HATE YOU for being special. For being amazing. For not watching TV and using your time wisely. For taking your limited time and investing it into a project that adds something amazing to the world.

So why does this happen?

Three reasons.

#1 It reminds them that they caved to fear, uncertainty, pressure, etc. and they gave up.

Think about running into an old college friend.

You’re at a 5 or 10 year reunion, and the dropout friend of yours is now running his own business that he LOVES, helping take people around the world on adventure trips.

And let’s say for the sake of argument you’re kinda stuck in the grind. You were told to take the classic path of get a good job, pay your bills, and then get married.

Suddenly you’re struck with envy, “WTF did he do right that I did wrong? He gets to travel all the time and wake up to something he enjoys, and I don’t.”

And usually, rather than being inspired, we feel resentful. We make excuses. It strikes us at the core – because we realize the WE have a dream too. We wanted to go take that year abroad to go to Spain, or we wanted to volunteer in Costa Rica. But we didn’t, because we got talked out of it or we were too “realistic” about life.

So rather than being inspired, we hate that person. We make excuses, “Well he could do that because XYZ…” and “he doesn’t have responsibilities like I do…” and all kinds of justifications.

But it still bothers us. Deep down we’re pissed off, and mostly pissed off at ourselves. “What happened to that dream I used to have? Why did I give up on it?”

Sometimes when you become successful, hordes of friends, family, and peers begin to not only rationalize their own failure, but try to take away your success. “You had all these resources I didn’t…” they say. But what they’re really doing is telling THEMSELVES a story to feel better.

#2 It reminds them that yeah, they still have a dream, but they aren’t hustling to make it happen.

Sometimes, people realize that they DO have a problem, but they’ve been lapsing on their progress.

Think about health.

Other people might at first support you, but once you start looking INCREDIBLE they envy you, hate you, and will try to steal your success.

“He’s a meat head.”

“She lives in the gym and wears lululemon everywhere.”

“He doesn’t have any other hobbies.”

“She only cares about her appearance.”

You’ve finally lost those 20 pounds and now you’re getting toned and fit and look awesome.

You’re starting to get really comfortable taking your shirt off at the beach, and you begin getting attention for the first time in a very long time.

And suddenly a few of your friends who have been drinking a bit too much beer and partying too much start chiming in, “Don’t you have a life? I feel like fitness is all you do now.”

It’s not even true – since you’re only at the gym a few times a week and you eat healthy otherwise – but you can feel their judgment, and their envy.

The point is that it’s not the truth that matters – it’s the story that people tell themselves (that we tell ourselves) to rationalize inadequacy and mediocrity.

#3 It reminds people that living the average life usually ISN’T fulfilling, it address the dissatisfaction and reminds them about how little they’re doing to combat it.

The highest level here is that it often indicates that the way we’re living – not at all deliberately – flat out produces unhappiness and leaves dreams unfulfilled.

This is the highest level of dissatisfaction and hurt. It kinda makes us think, “Well, shit. Why did I settle? You’re telling me that COULD be my life too?”

It speaks to the dissatisfaction at the core of most people – unwilling, afraid, or unclear about the life they want.

The raw truth is that we’ve all been there – usually health wise or financially- where we go “Shit. This looks awful. How’d it get this bad?” But the DIFFERENCE between the successful person and the average one is that the successful person does what the average person is not willing to do.

They both see the problem and feel the pain.

But only one takes action. Day after day. Month after month. YEAR after year, even when progress stalls or is slow.

So what’s the solution?

Fuck ‘em.

Seriously. That’s the solution.

In all seriousness, inspire people if you can. Show them how it might be possible. Show them hope, show them the roadmap if you can. But if they aren’t willing to take action? Be compassionate if you can, but otherwise move on.

It’s like that Marianne Williamson quote – we don’t fear our darkness, we fear our light. We fear our greatness.

This is me just giving you the heads up – when you see the haters coming, even if they’re your close friends, it’s time to keep moving.

People will hate you no matter what you do, so why not have them hate you for being great?

Why not have them hate you for living the fucking coolest life imaginable?

Why not have them hate you for being really goddamn happy?

And why not have them hate you for living a life that’s so inspiring that people can’t help but talk about it?